The Book Chelsea Wish She Wrote.

Chelsea Handler has been a permanent fixture on the New York Times best seller list with her humorous essay collections.

Trouble is, they are just aren't that funny.

Samantha Bee, correspondent for The Daily Show, has written a truly funny book called i know i am, but what are you?  

I could quote her all day, but here are a few examples of excellence in the category of humorous non-fiction, which may be the toughest genre to write:

"One day, I walked into class, and all these formerly fresh-scrubbed girls were wearing shimmery pink lip glosses in various shades of whore."   (from Man-Witch)

"Most of the time I'm simply sporting mom jeans and a scowl, trying my best to get from one place to another without encoutering any brazen genitalia along the way."  (Penis Envy)  

"If I could, I would spend all of my remaining days taste-testing chocolates, while a team of six-year-old girls gently brushed my hair."  (from Sailor Moon)

Bee is the funnier blonde, no doubt.

Choose Joy.

Happy Holidays! 

Writing (Un) Self-Consciously.

Today I was sitting in a doctor's office, skimming an old magazine (is there any other kind?!)  The cover story was a celebrity profile (is there any other kind?!)

I was about a half a page in when a reference was made to "Clark's nucleus." 

This stopped me cold.  And not in the good kind of "Let me Google that way."

The phrase took me out of the flow of what was otherwise decent prose.  It made me think the writer was a smarty pants trying to show off.

As readers, all of us like a well-turned phrase.  Some of us even like to be occasionally challenged, scurrying for a dictionary.

As writers we must stay out of the way of words.  We must not interrupt them with our own ponderous self-awareness.  That's a disservice to the reader.

So when in doubt, use an authentic voice.  Your readers will thank you.

The Time Before Texts.

Once upon a time--before email and texting--I received letters.  Love letters, letters from my mother, letters from friends.

And it must be said:  an e-card doesn't replace the real thing. 

I recently wrote a 20-page letter to my newly discovered half-brother.  At some point it became a stream of consciousness.  I lost myself in the joy of communicating. 

Revive this endangered art.  Make someone's day.  National Letter Writing Week begins on January 9th so you've got plenty of time to practice. And to buy some pretty stationary.

The 5 Percent Area.

Ninety-two year old magnate Sidney Harman is interviewed in the January issue of Vanity Fair.

Seems people think he is nuts to have bought Newsweek.  The publishing industry just isn't the money printing business it used to be.

Here's what Harman says:  "I see Newsweek as a serious undertaking with a decent shot.  Let me tell you something.  I've made a living working in the 5 percent area."

What's your 5 percent?

Nurturing Creativity.

I am working on an especially challenging assignment right now.  It is challenging and draining in equal parts.

Add the hectic holiday season to the mix and my creativity--the very thing I am paid for--suffers.

Besides the occasional glass of wine to cope--okay, a stiff gin and tonic (or two)--it helps to hear how other creative types cope.  And how they reignite the flame.

I love what author Elizabeth Gilbert says in her TED lecture on creativity and clarity about having a "divine cock-eyed genius assigned to your case." 

She should know.  She had to top her massive international bestseller Eat Love Pray.

I believe my "genius" wears red shoes.  And drinks G&Ts.


http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html