To Beat the (Brass) Band.

In the May issue of GQ, writer Tom Carson reviews Treme, HBO's new series about post-Katrina New Orleans.

Here's colorful line: "When [actor] John Goodman vents, even brass bands shut up."

Gets the point across--and brings a smile, huh?

A Memorable Simile.

Similes, if you'll recall from a distant English class, are comparisons of two unlike things using the word "as" or "like."

The technique is frequently employed in books, music, TV and advertising because similies have the power to vividly demonstrate a point.

Yet few are arresting to the ear.

In a recent episode of Modern Family, ABC's hit TV sitcom, a truly inspired simile was uttered: "I feel like I ate the sun."

As both a writer and a reader, I'm keeping my ear tuned for fresh similies.

Let me know if you "hear" a good one.

A Scintilla's Worth.

Twice in two days I heard a $10 vocabulary word, scintilla, used. Once in print, once in conversation.

It catches your ear, that word.

Scintilla means a shred or tiny particle. A scarcely detectable amount.

"Thanks to the neighbor's barking dog, I got only a scintilla of sleep."

No sleep, but I made my friends snap to attention with clever word usage.

No Shoes. No Problem.

In much of Asia, the Middle East and parts of Europe, there is a tradition of removing one's shoes before entering a home.

I've adopted this custom.

Sure, there are practicalities: guests don't track in toxins, dirt or pollen; hardwood floors stay scratch-free.

But the practice goes deeper.

Slipping out of one's street shoes (and possibly, into slippers provided by your hostess), is a sign of respect. It can also promote a more relaxed atmosphere. Some even suggest it helps guests leave their worldly cares at the door.

I've hung an especially polite, pretty sign outside my door as a gentle reminder. Find it at Flopping Fish, http://www.floppingfish.com/product.aspx?pid=618.

Along with a quick glance downward, guests usually agree to shed their footwear in support of an revered age-old, worldwide custom.

No Country for Old Ladies.

Can't shake the face--or should I say facelift--of Jane Fonda on her recent Larry King Tonight appearance. I was riveted.

And not in a good way.

She admits to succumbing to a little (though I suspect it was a lot) of nip and tuck. She looked like a marionette, her face pulled up by invisible strings. Smiling?  Nearly impossible.  Blinking?  Non-stop.

What a shame.  The original fitness queen, she has has a higly tuned sense of vanity.  But then who in Hollywood doesn't?

Still, it bums me out.  I thought she looked great for her age.  Or for a woman 15 years her junior.

My friend Susan was right when she referenced Cormac McCarthy.  America is no country for aging gals.

Calling all Goddesses.

Full disclosure:  Erin Susan Parks is my longtime friend.

That makes her a talented massage therapist that I get to have dinner with after she works her magic on my aching muscles.

Mother's Day is right around the corner, so I want to plug the two-hour Goddesss Massage she offers. 

If you've got a woman in your life who's under stress--and who isn't these days?--this is the gift she really wants.

Trust me on this. 

Erin works by appointment from her office in Roswell or on an outcall basis--the ultimate indulgence. Visit http://www.plumtreeyoga.com/massage.htm to book your bliss.

Sink or Swim.

The magazine industry has unveiled a print campaign (natch) to tout the power of print in the age of the Internet. 

The premise is that the two co-exist, complimenting each other. According to the ads, "we surf the Internet, we swim in magazines."

Print media has a PR problem, so I am pleased to see them directly address the issue with attractive, eye-catching ads.  They even include a few suprising facts such as magazine readership has risen 4.3% over the last five years.

As a writer, I agree that the mediums do enhance each other.

What do you think?  

Check it out at:  http://multivu.prnewswire.com/mnr/magazines/42679/.